Book Review: Whole Again
Author: Jackson MacKenzie
Publisher: Tarcherperigee
Rating: 4
Synopsis (via Goodreads): From a leading voice on recovering from toxic relationships, a deeply insightful guide to getting back to your "old self" again--in order to truly heal and move on. Jackson MacKenzie has helped millions of people in their struggle to understand the experience of toxic relationships. His first book, Psychopath Free, explained how to identify and survive the immediate situation. In this highly anticipated new book, he guides readers on what to do next--how to fully heal from abuse in order to find love and acceptance for the self and others. Through his close work with--and deep connection to--thousands of survivors of abusive relationships Jackson discovered that most survivors have symptoms of trauma long after the relationship is over. These range from feelings of numbness and emptiness to depression, perfectionism, substance abuse, and many more. But he's also found that it is possible to work through these symptoms and find love on the other side, and this book shows how. Through a practice of mindfulness, introspection, and exercises using specific tools, readers learn to identify the protective self they've developed - and uncover the core self, so that they can finally move on to live a full and authentic life--to once again feel light, free, and whole, and ready to love again. This book addresses and provides crucial guidance on topics and conditions like: complex PTSD, Narcissistic abuse, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Codependency, Core wounding, toxic shame, Borderline Personality Disorder, and so many more. Whole Again offers hope and multiple strategies to anyone who has survived a toxic relationship, as well as anyone suffering the effects of a breakup involving lying, cheating and other forms of abuse--to release old wounds and safely let the love back inside where it belongs.
Review: This book was on the same list that Untamed by Glennon Doyle was on when I plugged the words "books to read after a breakup" in to the Google search bar. Those closest to me who knew what was going on had been describing the relationship I had gotten out of as toxic (I was coming to terms with it myself) and that's this book's focus, so I figured why not.
Now I'm saying, thank goodness.
I hardcore related to the codependency section and scenarios of the book. I instantly clung to the truth "it's not your fault" when MacKenzie talked about narcissists and their demons (this is also true about anyone and their demons). I was fascinated with how MacKenzie talked about our bodies forming these protective selves without our knowing and then was lowkey questioning myself as to why I didn't let myself know that this was a thing.
Which leads me to forgiveness and toxic shame - oof. When these two topics came up, I had a lightbulb moment. Sure, I had been acknowledging that I struggle with self-forgiveness (I have for the longest time. Probably the codependent/chronic people pleaser in me), but I couldn't quite put my finger on what else I was feeling... until MacKenzie brought it up. Shame. (Hello therapy topics).
This book helped me learn more about myself, encouraged me to lean more into what I'm feeling, and to stay curious about what those feelings are/could be. Even though he admits to having some change of thought after writing Psychopath Free, I think my curiosity will get the best of me and I'll find myself reading that book in the near future.
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